Z Speaks

Not to worry, parents of young children. All the toys and games you've purchased that aren't exactly age-appropriate because you're too eager to relive your own joy as an 8 year old with that erector set, even though your kid is only 4, will not go to waste. Just be patient. We bought Legos for Z from the time he was a wee one but he never seemed inclined to put them together. I worried we had a spatially incompetent son which would have thrown into question the child's true paternity. But just when I was ready to Ebay the dust-gathering lot, his love of Lego kicked in. 

Now we are treated almost daily to a custom creation. My essential laziness means he must fill his non-school hours with activities of his own since I'm unwilling to drive much and he's unwilling to walk. So he spends hours in his room coming up with the next machine that is always faster than the last machine. Here's a sample in his own words:

"The Supersonic Everything" - It can go underwater, it can go on land because it has wheels, it can also go on top of water, and it can also bury itself in the sand. There are two vehicles so that they can split and explore. Their names are Freddy and Jumpy, and their jobs are to explore the ocean and the land. The trailer can boost, because it has boosters out the back, so it can go into outer space but the other one can't.

"Superbooster" - It can fly and go and land and boost into the air like a speeding rocket. It is the kind of rocket that can rotate its boosters - up and middle and down. It is really fast. It can go underwater. Wherever there are gaps, shields fill in to keep out the water - like hard plastic glass that shoots out when you press the button, to make sure people don't drown underwater.

"Supersonic Boat Speeder" - It has lights on the back, so it can see it can see sideways  and backwards and forwards. It has lots and lots of boosters and they shoot air and water and bubbles and there are also propellers. And last but least they have about one hundred air blowers to make it go really fast. It can go so fast it kind of picks up from the water and flies. It can go underwater - if a cannonball is going to hit it, it goes underwater and speeds away, even faster than the speed of light and the shooters say "wah wah wah, I lost my fun."

"The Batmobile" - It can drive and fly. Instead of exhaust pipes, it has red fire boosters in the back, and fire shooters on the side. It has two lights on top and two lights right at the front and two red lights on the back. It has storage in the back for equipment for camping. It has small wings because it makes things more aerodynamic and otherwise they might break off when flying if they hit something.

"Booster Wings" - This one has special powers to boost out into space and boost back like a speeding bullet and it bashes right into the sand and makes lots and lots and lots of dust. It has a small engine but it can still go turbo fast. 


P.S. Swing removal update. They're back! Here's the letter my rock star neighbor Claire sent to the Council. She met the Remover who was at the same time embarrassed and relieved.

Dear Sirs

Today, someone from the council removed two portable swings from a tree in De Tany Ct.

I am requesting these swings are returned and the notice sellotaped to the tree is taken down.

The tree is on private land. To remind you, it was the District Council that confirmed this when a resident, last year, requested that some maintenance be carried out on the very same tree  (fault reference 201005720496).

Could you please advise me when the swings will be returned as with summer holidays approaching we are keen to follow the advice of St Albans District Council on the website.

"Playing outside should be an integral part of every child's life. Natural play allows children's imaginations to run wild, and helps encourage a fit and healthy lifestyle by running about and being active in the fresh air."

Yours faithfully

Claire Burden